charlieismyqueen:

esotericbeefarmer:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.

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Yes.

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Hell yes.

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Hell.

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Fucking.

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Yes.

I am so, so proud of you.

When kids ask me what its like to be an adult, I will show them this post. Thank you. 

(via laugh-addict)

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r0sekanaya:

filling out a job application

“are you available for a Skype interview?”

….

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“no.”

(Source: karemloo, via laugh-addict)

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killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

snowmiserr:

one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me. 
and it is Akon.  So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon” 
he said you too and floated on.  

(Source: theofficialwalmart, via memewhore)

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elementalfurybro:

pmellark:

nash-grier:

Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about having Tumblr. I really don’t get it and it’s not something I really like using. What do you guys think? :/

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Damn

(via memewhore)

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gaystray:

do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes

(via walterwhte)

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perfectic theme